All life comes to an end…

ImageUpdate 29 Oct 13: Teddy has joined Sam in Heaven. My parents put him in their vehicle, I followed, and was their as their support system, for all the good it was.

They were hoping to hear better news, but it wasn’t to be.

God took Teddy home and some small part of me finds it comforting that Sam is no longer ‘alone’. Sam now has his friend to show around and play and enjoy life with no pain.

Funny how “living life out loud never gets easier, only shorter”. (my quote)


28 Oct 13: Teddy’s lymphoma is progressing really fast now. He’s having trouble resting, sleeping, eating, and doing his business. His soul is so willing to follow us all over the place, but his body is just failing him.

Tomorrow, he and I will take a trip to the vet, only he will not return home. My parents can’t bring themselves to do it, so I’ve taken on the task. This will be a grueling, cruel one for me because it’s only been 8 months since I had to put my little man down.

I keep telling Teddy to make sure he finds Sam and tells him I miss him more everyday. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t cry for him. I tell him good morning and good night every day/night. I will see something or eat something, and think about Sam.

I keep praying and asking God for mental strength to get through tomorrow. However, the tears are flowing now, just thinking about tomorrow.

I’m a strong woman. Samson made sure of that before he left this Earth, but I was so much stronger when he was here. Still, after 8 months, I feel like I’m just going through the motions of everyday life.

I know all life must come to an end. My Bible teaches me that, life teaches me that, but it doesn’t make losing someone you love any easier.

Teddy has been part of our family from the day he was weened until tomorrow – 10 years! Ten years is a long time.

Teddy is able to accurately tell me and my sister when we are getting ready to have a migraine and when we come home from work with one, he reminds us we have it, least we should forget, smile. Teddy has accurately told my momma she was having issues prior to all three of her surgeries. Now who will tell us? Who will warn us?

Now Teddy is following us all around. Getting in our laps, something he’s never done. He’s making and keeping eye contact as we talk to him. The light in his eyes is gone. When he looks at you now, it’s as if he’s begging for help, begging for us to do something about the pain he’s in. I told him yesterday I was sorry, and I would help stop the pain, but that meant he won’t come back home. He just laid his head down on my knee, he knows. He understands his time on this Earth is over. He is ready for the pain to stop.

I write this now because tomorrow I will not be able to. I will do a memorial page to Teddy, just as I have done for Sam, but it will not be soon.

I’m sure he’s counting the hours before he’s at peace….


Feeding Rituals

Ok, every morning I get up, let the pack out and ready their food. Everyone comes and eats with no problem except – you knew it was coming – Maebelle. Miss ‘I wanna be a princess’ will not eat. Thus begins the ritual.

I put the food in my hand and offer it to her. Nothing. I put some in her mouth thinking it will stimulate the hunger senses. Nothing. It’s at this point I have to take a very deep breath because I’m not a patient person especially in the morning. After that very deep breath, and usually a prayer, begins the force feeding.

It goes like this…I open her mouth with my left hand put the food that’s in my right hand in her back right jaw. She spits it out on me. We resume this shove in, spit out dance until she finally decides she’s had enough and she eats.

The dinner feeding is different. She gets Royal Canine for Chihuahuas – remember, she’s a wannabe princess. I put her food on her binkie, then I act like I’m going to get it. I play hand monster. I play chase with her woogie. This usually nets me nothing. She may eat a few bites or she may not eat at all.

Now, if she were any other dog, we’d be sitting in my vets office trying to diagnosis the problem. Miss Princess is only holding out for, you guessed it, people food. NEGATORY. She doesn’t get it! She wants meat and biscuits. I tell her if it makes mommy fat, I’m sure not giving it to her. Now I’m sure she doesn’t understand my reasoning, but I try not to feel too badly for her. I leave dry Beneful Incredibites down for them during the day, so she has food at the ready.

She doesn’t have weight issues. She maintains her weight, unlike her Mommy, so I figure she’s watching her Chihuahua figure, again, unlike her Mommy.

The next Chichi will not be hand fed at any point least he/she decide eating from my hand is better than their plate. I don’t care how cute it is, it teaches them one thing, I’m a big push over.

They train me instead of me training them!

Note to self: remember to read this again when you reach down to hand feed the next one.

May your pups leave puppy dog trails in your heart….

It worked…

Dewy came in before the sun went down yesterday and when she did, bam, we shut the doggy door and just like that, the squirrel thief was stopped!!!!!!!!!!

For now, we’ve stopped Dewy from killing more baby squirrels. She’s smart, she’ll figure out we put the door down after she comes in and she’ll start delaying her house entry. The rat sleeps all day and wants to kill baby squirrels all night.

The dogs didn’t like it at all, but we took turns taking them outside to bark at all the bears running around after dark. (Note: we have no bears running around in our yard at all because it’s fenced in. However, Bubbles would tend to disagree with me.)

Now I’m aware of how prides work. We’ve always had at least one cat on the place at all times; otherwise, the mice and rats move in. Hmmm, at one time we had so many cats, daddy went crazy and picked them all off but the mother and father. Stop crying…they really had to be thinned out and (1) daddy didn’t want to surrender them and them be put to sleep later because no one wanted them, (2) they had started breeding within their own bloodline so they were starting to develop issues, and (3) we managed to hide one or two of them so he didn’t thin ALL of them out, smile. Now, as adults, we are able to afford to have everything we keep, spayed or neutered, thank God! Back to the pride, I know they sleep during the day and hunt at night, but this isn’t the Serengeti in Tanzania, Africa. This is Mississippi, and we feed our animals, contrary to popular belief (I’ll address those one day, too.)

Our daddy is so soft now that he can’t shoot something unless it’s for food or to end suffering. Now, when people throw out their dogs at the creek (we live in the woods and people dump dogs and cats all the time), he will let us coach them in the fence, feed them and my sister and I take them to the pound. They hate to see us coming. I can’t shoot anything, unless it’s for food or with a camera, and if it’s for food, I have to absolutely not have any money whatsoever to feed myself (which just doesn’t happen). If a stray gets hit (people think our road is the Indianapolis 500), I scoop them up and off to my vet we go. Usually, it’s too bad to fix, otherwise, I sell my soul to get them back on their feet and to the pound. It sounds like I should start a fund to help dumped dogs, smile. As long as the good Lord blesses me with the means to take care of animals, I’ll return the favor by seeing to His creatures.

I won’t get started on my soap box, yet. I just wanted to say, Dewy has been stopped for now. I feel like she’s in her terrible twos right now. Peek did the same thing with a den of baby rabbits one year. Apparently, one of our local rabbits thought our yard was perfect for her and her babies, apparently, she didn’t realize the cat was there. Peek cleaned out a whole den, before we realized the rabbit was in our yard. Teddy Bear found what was left of them (about 2) for us. I let him smell the baby she left on the porch, dead!, and asked him to find them. He started smelling the ground and in seconds was standing, looking down, wagging his nubb (he has no tail). All he ever wanted to be was a momma. Boy do I have Teddy stories! We locked Peek in for a week until the babies could get up big enough to get away with their mom. Geez, these cats are going to be the death of me!

Please remember to spay and neuter your animals. And if you can’t feed them, don’t get them. And if you get them then decide you don’t want them or can’t feed them, don’t dump them, take them to your local pound or euthanize them yourself. Pet owners make a lifetime commitment when they decide to get an animal. It’s not fair for the animal to suffer for your lack of knowledge or means by which to care for them. I see it everyday. It’s saddening, infuriating, and maddening when I have to do someone else job as a pet owner.

Dog rule and cats drool! Laugh.

Dew Drop is in trouble

Dew Drop brought in a baby squirrel Saturday night and we run her out of the house. I would’ve risked hands and arms to save him/her, but it was already gone.

Last night, she did it again, a baby squirrel about the same size. She’s wiped out an entire generation this year in two nights. We are upset with her and she’ll not be going out after dark, sorry. It would be different if she wasn’t fed, but she’s fat as a (pick your own word) and she goes out and gets our squirrels??!! NEGATIVE!

We feed those squirrels all year long. We protect them from Peek-a-boo (the other cat) all year long, now Dewy has found them, and apparently REALLY loves them.

She’s raiding the nest at night, the thief!!!!!!

Oh and this morning, I opened the door to let the dogs out (hahaha, the song, you get it) and there was Peek with a female cardinal in her mouth. Geez, what is the problem???????!!!!!!!

This is why I LOVE my dogs and have to tolerate the cats. My dogs don’t kill things for sport, heck they don’t kill things period.

I have to find a way to stop her from getting them at night. She can’t catch them during the day because the mother protects the nest with more spirit than humans protect their children with, but at night she sneaks in…oh, Lord have mercy on her!!!!

Crying fit

Monday started off as any ole day. However, the end was unforeseeable. It started as any evening would with me looking for Teddy Bear to give him his meds. You see Teddy is dying. He was diagnosed with lymphoma this past February. He’s losing his hearing, his appetite is something to be reckoned with, and his hair is falling out. I found him in the kitchen in front of one of our cabinets. I set down on the floor, touched his head, and normally he looks up, licks his lips, and readies himself for the pill onslaught. This time, nothing, no movement, no licking his lips, absolutely nothing! I panicked, yelled for my momma, turned on the light so I could see, and fell to the floor. I hit him in the chest hard enough to brake a rib, but it worked. He took a deep breath, slowly opened his eyes, looked at me and when he licked his mouth his tongue was blue/purple. I picked his head up, made him move it and once his tongue started to return to half way normal, I gave him his meds, hit the shower, and had a crying fit, it was just shy of a mental brake down. I couldn’t stop crying. Cried myself to sleep, went to work Tuesday with red, swollen eyes.

Tuesday wasn’t extraordinary. I got a picture of the elusive Bubbles (see pack page). I walked 20 mins on the treadmill @ 2.3 mph for .758 miles. My shoulder and arm started hurting. I know, I need to slow down. Laugh. Teddy did well, I called and checked up on him at lunch, and was reluctant to give him his meds that afternoon. Maybe I bought him another few months.

Wednesday, just an ordinary day. I sat outside in the evening breeze and knitted until the mosquitos started to feast on me, at which time, I retreated into the house. I finished another tier of knitting while watching PBS. If I didn’t count the hurting body caused by the cool weather, I’d say it was a good day.

Thursday was like Tuesday, except I walked .770 miles, woohoo. Pain started around the same time. I had lunch at the BSU (Baptist Student Union) and was blessed to hear the words of a pastor and his wife. No I’m not Baptist, but when I need feeding God slides the appropriate person and message right in, and Melissa eats her fill. The BSU are good, Godly people. I’m proud to be allowed to sit and fellowship with them. It comforts my soul.

Friday, drama on one of the side roads, but since I’m not sure what happened, I’ll not name the road, nor people involved. I only mention it because I’m sure all involved need prayer. This happened twice yesterday. Once while on my way to work and second when I made it home. One thing has stuck with me since learning about it in the news, Adrian Petterson’s 2 year old son, killed by the mother’s boyfriend. This boyfriend had a history of abuse on women and their children. Why? Why? Do these women put their wants and desires before their children? She should’ve known all about this man prior to starting a relationship with someone like him. I keep reminding myself that Heaven now has another Angel. No more pain and suffering. No more abuse. No more careless parenting. He’s with Jesus and is in a safe, protected, loving place.

I pray you have a blessed weekend. Nice weather means outside time, so I’m out of here.

Vaya con Dios!