Valentine’s Day Yoga, that’s what I called yesterday. All day I reminded myself that I had somewhere special to go after work. Some where that I would feel unconditional love. People who love me for me, not for my past, my present, nor my future. They love me for who I am that moment in time as we all gather on our mats.
Valentine’s day has always been hard for me, even when I had a “Valentine”, but this year I noticed I wasn’t down. I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t unhappy for others. I was okay with it because I’ve realized, through yoga, that this has been my decision. My decision to be sad on this happy day. My decision was to be happy for everyone.
I blame this completely on yoga and the fact that it has made be take responsibility for ALL of my decisions. I’ve chosen not to have a Valentine (for personal reasons, I still am working on!). I’ve chosen to no longer project my decision on those who are happily involved with their someone special. I’ve chosen. I’ve chosen. My decisions.
This is what my yoga practice is teaching me. When I hit the mat, it’s all about me! When I emerge from the mat, I am responsible for my decisions – past, present, and future – not a family member(s), not my neighbor, not someone I loved, not my co-workers, not my yoga guide, not my yoga community. Again, it’s all about MY decisions, and all decisions – good and bad – have consequences. Those consequences can build me up or destroy me. They can be building blocks or stumbling blocks. I, now, choose for them to be building blocks. I’ve allowed my past to destroy me, cause me be stumble and stay down, but no more.
At my altar of prayer, I finally know I’ll meet my Jesus. I know I can allow myself to be forgiven for my past and work toward my future. Yoga has taught me that!
Remember, yoga isn’t about what a man or woman teaches you, it’s about what you learn from within. Your heart’s guide. For me, my guide is Jesus Christ. I can finally stop punishing myself mentally and let Him have it. (This coming from a preachers daughter and a saint on the pew. My dad would be so proud, but I think I’ll keep this between us. Smile.)
What has yoga taught you?